Who am I?

I am Jeremiah Shawver, most of my friends call me Jerm. I am 19 years old, I am a junior at Moody Bible Institute. I am engaged to the most wonderful woman in the world Lisa Stephens. Someday I want to start my own coffee shop and have a school that operates from that coffee shop. I am the head Youth Leader at First Saint Paul's Evangelical Lutheran Church. I am currently working on a book entitled Collision: when my two lives met. But all of this does not answer the question at hand, who am I?

Sometimes I dont even know who I am. I know where I was raised I know who my parents are I know my family. I know my fiance. I know what I learned in school. I know alot of things but often times it is hard to say who I am. I could be no one. Just a dust particle in the wind with no real purpose. But even as I write that last sentence I know it is not true. I know I have purpose but is that who I am?

As of now I am Jeremiah, just a kid but I have a story to tell. I am not the wisest of people but I do have some wisdom. Myworld was recently destroyed by a series of events that I could not control. My life was wrecked but it has begun to come back together. Jesus has brought my life out of what it used to be. Something you should know about me is my parents have decided that because I am getting married at nineteen that I am in sin. That my life should be following their goals for me. I have been hurt many times by their words and by their actions. I have tried my best to love them back. I have not always done the best at loving them. I am still a sinner and I am still learning. Yet my parents have found it to  be reasonable to tell me that I am not like the son they raised, that I am making the biggest mistake of my life, that I am making myself look like a fool, and that I have destroyed my family. I have been hurt very much by these things and I think that this has defined who I am today. I still am committed to loving my family.  If I was going to describe my self in one word it would be: Broken. I am broken but I am being made new.

This is a ppoem I wrote about my current situation:

Why did you say that?
Were you trying to hurt me?
Did you think that I would break?
or maybe it would eat away at me?
Was it to prove a point?
Because the only point I got was that you dont love me
Or you just love me less
Becasue of this stress.
I thought you said family was important,
then why do you act as if you wish I was aborted?
I always tried tried to make you proud,
but I guess I failed.
Cause my emotions are pointless,
so when they come up you say "Dont do this."
You think you have seen it all;
Truth is you dont know me at all.
So, yes you succeeded in hurting me;
but I forgive you, not cause you desrve it.
I have been given much, and forgiven much.
I forgive you of that wrong.
I forgive you for your words,
that penetrate so deep.
I know words that go deeper;
I love you even when you dont deserve it.
I cant' make you say you're sorry
when you dont see the purpose.
My pain is getting worse,
its bursting through the surface.
But there is beauty in the pain,
that beauty is forgiveness.

I love you Dad, even when it seems like its not worth it.