Thank you

So, I am married now. I have been for a week and a half now and it is absolutely wonderful. Over the past few weeks I realized I have not been able to thank many people for their influence in my life. I also realize that in our culture words tend to mean less than they should; to each of you I am thanking these words are from my heart and because I love and care for you deeply. So here it goes

First, my wife Lisa, You are absolutely wonderful. We have so many wonderful memories together and a lot of not so wonderful ones. You have changed my life so much in the past two years and I pray that we would continue to change each other. Just thinking about you feels my heart with joy. I wish I could put into words how I feel about you. I love your smile and the way you laugh. I love your voice and everything about your personality. You’re so complex and hard to figure out and sometimes you are the most frustrating person in the world and yet I love you. You are so kind and sweet to me and I thank you for that. I thank you for sticking with me even through the hard times, and I thank you for your vow to stay with me through all the times to come. Thank you Lisa

Second, My family. I know we have our differences but thank you for everything you have done for me thank you for your love and support. Mom and Dad thank you for everything you taught me, thank you for helping me to excel in the things I am gifted in. Jennifer thank you for staying up late and talking about life with me and with our siblings. Jonathon, thank you for your support, thank you for being my hero, thank you for being a great big brother and a great friend. Jacqueline, thank you for being so strange, thank you for being so real and genuine, thank you for loving people unconditionally. Clara, you are so young and yet you are an example for so many people, thank you for not giving up, thank you for not judging any one and for your love of God, you are one of the most genuine Christians I know.

DRYER 2

I would first like to thank everyone on dryer 2 for your support and the community we have shared these two years. I love each of you dearly and pray that we meet again someday and that I get a chance to work with you. You have been like brothers to me and I thank you for that. Without Dryer 2 I would have seriously considered leaving moody long before now so thank you.  

Kevin, as I write this I am holding back tears, your friendship is so valuable to me. You are like a 4th brother to me. Thank you so much for just doing life with me. Thank you for being a sounding board for my thoughts. Thank you for encouragement and comfort through hard times. I cannot thank you enough for your friendship. You are my best friend and I pray that this friendship will continue until you and I are old and grey. I remember once Lisa needed someone to walk her home and I couldn't so you did and you listened to Lisa as she told you all of her awful day at work. That is just one example of your acts of friendship, Thank you Kevin.
Aaron, Thank you for listening to me through the past two years. From the first week of school I just started coming into your room and talking and you listened. That act of love means more to me than you will ever know. I hope someday we get the pleasure of working side by side. I thank you for your openness and your friendship. Thank you for teaching me a thing or two about business. Thank you for being so genuine.
Lamaster, we don’t agree on a lot of things and I am not sure how we became friends but thank you for being there. Thank you the constant dialogue. Thank you for not being afraid to open up to people. Thank you for constantly reminding me of the gospel. I thank you for your heart for the American church and for community.  

Tyler Turdici, I have thanked you many times for everything you did for my wedding but seriously thank you. I know you joked about being unimportant to the wedding but you did so much and that was awesome. Thank you for being the wildcard. Thank you for always having an open door and a willingness to talk or to drop everything for a brother in need. Thank you for yours and Michelle’s example of a godly relationship. Thank you for your exuberance.

Sean, Thank you for being my roommate this past year. Thank you for staying up all night with me and Tyler. Thank you for your constant joking and your friendship. You have given me a lot of good advice and have helped me to mature in life and godliness.

Tyler Curtis, Thank you for rooming with me and Sean and your ability to listen. You are a very good counselor and I am sure many people on Dryer 2 and in your life are thankful for having you in their life.

Cody, Thank you for your advice on relationships. You are a wise man and a good friend. Thank you for your example and for your willingness to help other out even if it is inconvenient to you. Thank you for your relationship with Hosanna and giving the men on dryer 2 an example to follow.

Jason Ehlert, Thanks for letting me come into your room whenever and watch you play video games. Thank you for your impact on dryer 2. To me you are one of the people who embody what dryer 2 is. Thank you for your friendship.  

Zach Lutz/snackpack, Thank you for letting me come into your room whenever I wanted. Thank you for your example and for your humility. Thank you for all the discussions about theology that we have had the past two years. You have made an impact on my life and I know you have done the same for many men on dryer 2.

Burkholder, I think that when anyone thinks of dryer 2 they think of you. I am going to miss seeing you at school. Thank you for being the most humble person that I know. Thank you for being such a good friend to everyone on the floor. Thank you for being willing to drop anything for someone else’s problems or just to get into some nonsense.

Castle I thank you for your positive attitude. I do not know someone with such a great attitude toward life. Thank you for always being there for your friends. Thank you for your quirkiness. Thank you for your friendship.

Cofo you never really said much but I thank you for your contribution to dryer 2. Thank you for your willingness to just be with the men on dryer 2. Thank you for all the late night talks.

Choi I think everyone knows that you bleed dryer 2. Thank you for your loyalty and for being such a good friend to everyone. Thank you for everything you did not only for dryer 2 but also for moody.

CFG, you are a dryer 2 legend and rightly so. Thank you for you humor and humility. You have been an encouragement to me and a leader on our floor. Thank you for being a part of this community.

Lambo Thank you for you never-give-up attitude. Thank you for being a friend to everyone on our floor and always being there for your brothers.  

Josiah/BP this summer I have gotten to know you a lot more than before so thank you for your willingness to just spend time with your brothers. You are a good man and I am very lucky to call you a friend.



I want to thank the rest of you as well but I am lacking in time so to: Tuna, Duracell, Winkler, Ethan, David welch, Adam Stump Enzbigilis, June, Charlie, Hibbard, Phil, Striker, Eric, Clapper, Seth, David Prussia, Rob, Roman, John, Caleb, Jared, Bert, Teyvonne, Joe, David Ha, Kendalle, Mike brown, Caleb Bergman, Ryder, Sisco, Krause, Gary, Noah Bell, Jim Searing, Justin Lovett, Sam Mock, Jeremy Weaver, Jacob Santhouse, Vince Schiller, Ebby, Tito, Ben Aubrey, Laughtrack, Josh Haight, Justin Goheen, Jake VanDam, Christian, and Joe Calabrese. When I think of Moody you are what I think of. You have been brothers to me and have given so much to dryer 2 and to your brothers. Thank you all for the impact you have had on my life. Continue to be a community of men that is open and honest and most of all a community of love. I pray that we meet again and that we continue to sharpen each other.



Proverbs 27:17

As Iron Sharpens Iron, So one person sharpens another.


Hebrews 10:23-25

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.


Thank you for everything.


-Emi

-Jeremiah

-Jerm

-Mijah

-Jerry

Preparing to get Married = Dying to self

I am getting married this weekend... Sometimes I just have to remind myself. If I have learned one thing since being engaged it is this: Dying to yourself is the most important part of love.

Some people think that being physically involved or being emotionally involved is more important than commitment. Dying to self shows commitment. The physicality of a relationship dies as soon as two people are apart. That is why no relationship can be built on looks and nothing else. The emotional aspect of a relationship is killed as soon as too people lose contact. Now, these two parts are very important. I would not say to have no emotional or physical connection. I do believe that the level of commitment must be higher than the level of physical or emotional involvement.

Now to show why I believe this. I will begin with two of my favourite passages of scripture.

1. Philippians 2:5

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,⁶ who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, ⁷ but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. ⁸ And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. ⁹ Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, ¹⁰ so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, ¹¹ and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

To begin, and mostly because if I do not do this my roommate will be upset, when this passage talks about Jesus emptying himself this does not mean that he is in any way less God. I do not believe that Jesus can in any way make himself less God. He is at all times the second person of the Trinity and therefore is, with God the Father and the Holy Spirit, Completely and totally God, co-eternal with the other persons of the trinity.

Now to the matter at hand, I think this passage is actually talking about the attitude of Christ, as is the next passage, in his sacrifice for all of humanity. We are told here that we are to have the "mind" of Christ (or the attitude). This attitude is then explained in verses 6-8, which is one long sentence. First, He "did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped". He did as we have been called to do. He was and is completely God, as stated before. However, as Jesus came to save humanity He did not, as He could have, say "I am God and therefore I am above sacrificing for these lowly humans". Jesus had every right to do so. This is not to say that God would never sacrifice for us only that, as God, He owes nothing. That is what Paul is telling us here. Jesus did not owe it to humanity to become like us and to die for us. However, He did. (John 3:16 "For God so loved the world") Jesus loved us so much that He was obedient to the Fathers will for Him to die for we weary sinners. We are told that we should have that mind. This is a hard thing to do. Romans 5:7-8 tells us that usually people will not even die for a good person but while we were still sinners Christ died, extending grace to us. That is the tension we are told to live in. As a Christian I must be willing to die for anyone in the world even if I do not know them. Jesus died for me when I did not know him and I am commanded to love like that. Which brings us to the next verse.

2. John 15:12-13

¹² “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

When the disciples heard this Jesus had recently told them of one of their betrayal of him. The commandment here is a very heavy one. Most people, even Christians or maybe I should say especially Christians, fail at it every day. "Love one another as I have loved you". And then we must be willing to lay our life down for our friends. That is crazy; I will explain why I find it so crazy shortly. The way Christ loves us is so counter cultural and is the antithesis of almost everything we are taught. First, we must be in community in order to love other people. Let me be very clear, it is nearly impossible to love anyone through Facebook. Over the internet no one can hear your tone or feel your touch, you are not really spending time with any one and because of these things you are not in community. That is why church is so important to Christians you must be with the people of God in order to love them (John 13:31-35). I understand there are some people who cannot leave their homes and so they cannot leave to be in community. To this problem I say that the church must reach out to them in order to fulfill its purpose in existing. Second, we must love people more than we ever thought possible. We must love people like Christ loved us. The wonderful thing about this is that we cannot do it on our own. I find that statement very comforting. I cannot love any one without God. All love is just a counterfeit without God being involved. These are the two points of this passage.

Now for why I learned so much about this while being engaged. It was Friday, I had been awake since 6:45 am and I was trying to figure out how to get a bike from the apartment building my fiancé was staying in. I suggested she bring the bike up the next morning on the bus because I didn't want to and it was 11 pm. My fiancé asked me to just come get it because she was busy the entire next day. I did not have a bus pass and so I began to walk, it is a two mile walk one way. So I walked there and picked up the bike. On the way back I was just angry and thought that my fiancé was being selfish and I was being selfless. The next morning I woke up late, about 7:00 AM. I worked 8.5 hrs. just like the day before and went home. It wasn’t that bad of a work day and I got out early. At about 9:30 PM my fiancé texted me and asked if I would pick her up from work. I didn’t want to because that is also two miles away. I did anyway. On my way I realized that I was not the one being selfless. I was being selfish. I was not loving Lisa as Christ had loved me I was loving her less than that and therefore I was in sin. I was not truly following the example of Christ. Jesus did not complain while on the cross but he said 'forgive them for they know not what they do". The painful thing is that Lisa knew it. She could feel my selfishness and it was hurting our relationship. I had to ask for forgiveness from God first then from Lisa and then I had to change my attitude. A good test for if you love others is how you treat those closest to you.

If you cannot love those closest to you, there is no way you can love the lost.

updates

I was thinking and I thought I should either delete my blog or update it more. So for now I am going to try to update this more often. So here it goes:

First, My parents have decied to come to my wedding and we are speaking again. I have been waiting for this to happen for the past 6 months and now my wedding is a week away. I think I knew all along that they would change their mind. It took some interesting events and some convincing though. Thanks to my wonderful fiance Lisa. She and I kind of ambushed my mom so that we coudl talk through all the problems. My mom changed her mom once I told her that the reason I wanted to get married was that I love Lisa and that I almost lost ehr last year. You see, Lisa has had a lot of health complications. Last summer I thought she was going to die. Something you learn when someone close to you almost dies is how much you really care for them, how much you actually love that person. I have seen this is some of my friends relationships as well. I thought that this could be something that only I had seen. But Lisa said the same thing to one of our friends. I was never so sure that I loved some one as when I realized that Lisa could die. Coming to terms with that was one of the scariest things I ever had to do. Some days I would just cry because it was too much to deal with. I could not do anything about it, and that was the worst part. All the fears I had formed of death and being alone, something I amd sorting through in my book, came flooding back. I knew this was the girl and at any moment I could lose her and that was awful. Then people starting saying things like "if you have more faith then..." When in actuallity sometimes God gives us a thron in the flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7). So it makes not sense to blame the person who is suffering because this basically puts you on the same plane as Job's friends (just go read Job). Job is told at the end of the book that God does what he wants. Anyway that is not the point of this first section. the first thing I wanted to say was that my parents are coming to my wedding.

Second, my wedding is only 8 days a way. this is getting intense. My parents seem to think they can still talk me out of it but they cant. My mind is made up and this is going to be fun.

Third, I am a line cook now. I love cooking so my job is actually a ton of fun. I love what I do and that makes it worth while.

Fourth, I have thought two tatoos I want. One will be on my back and is 2 Corinthians 6:8-13 ish (I say ish because I dont want verse 12 but that does nto affect the meaning). the second is two full sleeves. The center is the battle of armeggedon, where Jesus destroys satan and all of his armies. Jesus is on a horse and the devil is a dragon, this is on either side of my chest. then death and hades are following satand and the armies of God are behind Jesus on horses, this is shoulders. then down one arm demons are climbing and running toward the middle. On the other side there are the saints and all of God's people rising to go to battle. the picture for death and hades is below and is by Gustave Dore.

Fifth, I have learned more about God this summer than I thought I would. Mostly about how much I have fallen short of His glory and how much I need Him. God's grace is far greater than any one can ever grasp. no one on earth can ever tell you how great of a gift we have been given in Christ or how great a debt has been paid. I think I could have never repaid one sin with my own works but through Christ's work on the cross and his resurrection I have all of my debts repaid. I am being made new all the time.

this is 2 corinthians 6:8b-11&13
We are treated as impostors, and yet are true;
as unknown, and yet well known;  
as dying, and behold, we live;  
as punished, and yet not killed;
as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing;  
as poor, yet making many rich;  
as having nothing, yet possessing everything.
We have spoken freely to you... ...our heart is wide open. 
In return... ...widen your hearts also.

plans

I have learned some things this week. The first of which is that I am a good event planner but sometimes I procrastinate to much. I simply wait to long to plan things. This weekend I was the Dj at my fiance's best friend's wedding. I didnt find out til that day but I didnt plan what I was goin to say until I was walking to the front of the reception. I had to introduce people and explain things to the guests but I didnt plan anything. This coming sunday I am planning on doing a BBQ for the youth group I am incharge of. The problem is I didn't plan to do this until two days ago. I just sent an email to the people who are supposed to attend the BBQ to tell them about it. I need to do better about procrastination. I have always done that. I think thatI need to be proactive. It reminds me of the movie "sasquatch gang". In one scene the main girl has a list of things to do and the last one is "be proactive". she does this by wiring her mouht shut to lose weight. I am not planning on doing anything quite so drastic but I do need to plan things further in advance. I am hoping that I can accomplish this goal. I have found that I often procrastinate on my goals of not procrastianting. I think this time I can do better.

Side note only 38 days until I get married.

growing up

I feel like an old man. I work more than most of my friends, I am getting married, and I am completely on my own. I feel as if I went from an 18 year old kid to being 25 and I am only 19. I wonder if most people feel this way. I wnder if everyone at this age think they act older than they are. I have met other people my age and they dont seem to care about anyone but themselves. I work witha  guy my age, he has a son, he is cheating on the mom of that son and is proud of it. I guess he does as much stuff as I do but he is acting as if he is still a 15 year old kid. I have this theory that all guys between the ages of 15 and 17 are deuche bags. Some start early and some start late and some just keep goingt il they are around thirty and realize they are all alone. I find it odd that so many people still live like they are teenagers but they do. I have seen people just do silly things with their money and with their time, things I did in high school. I do not understand how that can be satisfying. Today I was reading Hosea and it broke me. I was reading about God indicting the people of Isreal and the people of Ephraim. He tells them how awful they are and how they need to stop doing the same things over and over again. I think that is what growing up is all about. I think that growing up is realizing that the things you have done for so long dont work anymore. As a Christian I know that I still sin alot but part of me growing up in Christ is to learn that the sins I am committing now dont have any hold on my life and I must stop doing them. It is like Tony Dinozzo from NCIS says "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got." I guess that is my view of growing up. I think I realized this and have grown in my walk with Christ because of it.

living on my own

Since I last posted I have moved into my own place. I am, for the first time, living independently. I guess I am not living on my own perse. Actually will never live alone. Thats an odd thing to think about. I know so many people who just live alone and they think it is so much fun, but really it doesnt seem that fun. Right now I am living with two guys, I only ever see one. Matt and Cody are their names. It feels alot like I am in school actually. In school I lived with two other guys in a dorm. Now I am doing the same. my aprtmen is only bigger than a dorm becaus eof the kitchen and shower. So to me nothing has really changed except the people and the location. What's great about living "on my own" is that I have my own place. I have aplace to call home. The last few weeks of school and two weeks after school I didnt feel like I really had a home. I even went back to kentucky but that didn't really feel a whole lot like home. I mean my family was there but after things that have happened it was kind of odd and it seemed that I was walking on eggshells. I guess there is just somehting about having a place to call home that just bring security. I think, most people are just looking for security. That is why so many people love money. We see money as a security blanket and so we can just hold on to it and it will save us from all our troubles. I know I used to feel this way. I was a business school student becasue I thought I knew how to take care of myself better than God. What I hadto realize is that I cannot find my security in anything other than God. God is my security even if I have a home. My home is not actually my security. It is amazing to me that God will give people so much stuff and yet they never even recognize that he is the one giving it to them. All of our security is in Him and we dont even realize that. I wish more people would realize the how great the provision of God is. Like now, I have internet in my apartment some how and I havent had internet for two weeks. God has provided for me in more ways than I could have ever imagined. I am thankful but no where close to how thankful I should be.

Who am I?

I am Jeremiah Shawver, most of my friends call me Jerm. I am 19 years old, I am a junior at Moody Bible Institute. I am engaged to the most wonderful woman in the world Lisa Stephens. Someday I want to start my own coffee shop and have a school that operates from that coffee shop. I am the head Youth Leader at First Saint Paul's Evangelical Lutheran Church. I am currently working on a book entitled Collision: when my two lives met. But all of this does not answer the question at hand, who am I?

Sometimes I dont even know who I am. I know where I was raised I know who my parents are I know my family. I know my fiance. I know what I learned in school. I know alot of things but often times it is hard to say who I am. I could be no one. Just a dust particle in the wind with no real purpose. But even as I write that last sentence I know it is not true. I know I have purpose but is that who I am?

As of now I am Jeremiah, just a kid but I have a story to tell. I am not the wisest of people but I do have some wisdom. Myworld was recently destroyed by a series of events that I could not control. My life was wrecked but it has begun to come back together. Jesus has brought my life out of what it used to be. Something you should know about me is my parents have decided that because I am getting married at nineteen that I am in sin. That my life should be following their goals for me. I have been hurt many times by their words and by their actions. I have tried my best to love them back. I have not always done the best at loving them. I am still a sinner and I am still learning. Yet my parents have found it to  be reasonable to tell me that I am not like the son they raised, that I am making the biggest mistake of my life, that I am making myself look like a fool, and that I have destroyed my family. I have been hurt very much by these things and I think that this has defined who I am today. I still am committed to loving my family.  If I was going to describe my self in one word it would be: Broken. I am broken but I am being made new.

This is a ppoem I wrote about my current situation:

Why did you say that?
Were you trying to hurt me?
Did you think that I would break?
or maybe it would eat away at me?
Was it to prove a point?
Because the only point I got was that you dont love me
Or you just love me less
Becasue of this stress.
I thought you said family was important,
then why do you act as if you wish I was aborted?
I always tried tried to make you proud,
but I guess I failed.
Cause my emotions are pointless,
so when they come up you say "Dont do this."
You think you have seen it all;
Truth is you dont know me at all.
So, yes you succeeded in hurting me;
but I forgive you, not cause you desrve it.
I have been given much, and forgiven much.
I forgive you of that wrong.
I forgive you for your words,
that penetrate so deep.
I know words that go deeper;
I love you even when you dont deserve it.
I cant' make you say you're sorry
when you dont see the purpose.
My pain is getting worse,
its bursting through the surface.
But there is beauty in the pain,
that beauty is forgiveness.

I love you Dad, even when it seems like its not worth it.